Axe to Grind

While its easy to get caught up in star ratings and numerical scores one can sit back and look at the porpoise of writing reviews at all. A wonderful specimin of cetacean, the porpoise will dive up to... hold on. That was a typo. I shall wax here about the purpose of reviews. I'm trying to scale each item on its own qualities by determining the scale on which it can be measured and placing it on that scale. How friendly to Dolphins can fishing for Tuna actually be, I mean, really? Friendly is the wrong scale of measurement. Fishing for Tuna can be measured on a dolphin scale of Killy, but killing less of them hardly categorises the process as friendly. One wonders if there are Tuna friendly Dolphins, which is unlikely.

Anyway, irrelevant as that was, what matters is the scale of measurements. Its very difficult to use an arbitary star rating largely because its arbitary, but its impossible to compare apples and oranges fairly until a scale and datum have been established. To this end, I'm going to reserve some space in each review explaining the comparisons but still try to avoid "This X is better that Y" statements.

So on the subject of grinding, I should probably mention the Krups grinder thats been serving me well. Its a Krups GVX2:

http://www.krups.co.uk/All+Products/Coffee+Machines/Coffee+Grinders/Products/GVX2/GVX2+Expert+Coffee+Grinder.htm

Which I bought because it satisfied all of my criteria, and it does exactly what it says on the tin. It'll grind the right quantity of coffee, producing even results and its fast to use.

Technically, for some processes you might want more than seventeen settings for the size of the grind but these only come into play under humidity, temperature and pressure conditions that arn't all that common at a fixed altitude in a temperate climate. If these become an issue you can counter a lot of the effects by switching to a moka pot rather than drip or press preparation and let physics do the hard work for you.

Likewise, quantity control is quantised to about 1/4 cup accuracy (1/8th of proper portions) but thats enough accuracy for my palette at least and fundementally it grinds all the beans you put in the top so if you put the right amount in you'll get the right amount out.

Its fast. Maybe a tad noisy, but I'm simply not measuring acoustics so have no complaint. It does take electricity, and lacks the contemplative satisfaction of a hand grinder due to its speed and the fact that you are no longer grinding the beans yourself. You have to decide when that is an issue and when it isn't. It also won't grind unless you've inserted the bin to catch the grinds and the hopper lid. Great for zero mess grinding but when those microswitches break it'll kaput the whole thing.

The down points a few and far between, but its a little difficult to clean. The exhaust nozzle that provides grinds gets a bit packed - especially with the finer grinds. When you switch to a coarse grind you can get up to a teaspoon of fine grinds and dust - very bad if you are switching from a paper microfilter to a cafetiere. This won't be a problem for day-to-day usage, where you may have a similar grind but cleaning can be a little fiddly.

While the cleaning process is a necessary evil, it is both an evil and necessary but the only frown on a so far faultless product.

Krups GVX2 Grinder - 9/10.

Cleggageddon

Having failed to sell my vote on ebay (see previous post), i'm left with the chore of having to make a decision. While there is the school of thought that if ebay can't have my vote, then nobody can, it seems a bit anti-climatic to just give up now. Thankfully, I have a plan B. There is always a plan B, except maybe if you are the A-Team.

Astute readers will notice now that I am actually only voting to blog about it, and I'm probably not the only person doing this. I'll admit its not a motivation that reflects well on our political process but its a reason all the same and i'm going to go through with it. Lacking a functional crystal ball I'm unable to know which party is going to be the best for our country in the future. If there is one thing I learned from the banks its that past records are no guarantee of future performance, and even if I knew everything about each national party i'd still pretty much be rolling dice.

So, Plan B then. Earlier in the month I emailed the four leading local candidates the same five political questions. The rules of this game are quite simple, I'm going to vote for whoever replies with the best answers. Good answers are not needed, just be better than the rest. If I only get one reply and it says "I am a fish" it will qualify as the best answer and win by default. These guys don't have to try very hard to win my fickle vote, but they have to play my game. Spam through the letterbox will not win my vote. Just answer one email with questions on your specialist subject.

To avoid a tie the questions were broad and all but impossible to answer, allowing the most degree of freedom in the response and the questions posed were on common popular issues - Taxation, Electoral Process, Transport, Emissions and Economic Stability. I used long words, and tried to come off on the caring side of pretentious.

Since I respect the confidentially of the replies, I'll paraphrase here, and will refer to colours rather than names so everybody remain anonymous.

First to reply was Mr. Blue, but this isn't a race so I'm not awarding bonus points for speed. Mr Blue explained that he is very busy trying to win votes, so can't answer my questions personally and he would answer in line with national party policy. I found Mr Blues approach both honest and practical, both of which I like. Since I'm casting my vote based on this one email that is a strong opener, but failing to answer any of the questions makes him easy to beat if somebody else will answer at least one question.

Second up was Mr. Green. Mr. Green came off more laid back than Mr. Blue, and invited me to phone him or come in to his office for a chat. Mr Greens friendlyness and willingness to spend time with me is very appealing. But his reply was brief and he didn't even attempt an answer on the environmental question which I included just for his benefit. The rules of the game are I've got to decide based on this email, buttering me up with a cosy chat won't win votes.

Then there was silence, and I contemplated Mr Blue and Mr Green. Neither answered a single question, one didn't have enough time for me and the other had too much. Based on that one interaction, who should I vote for?

The third response came from Mr Yellow.

Mr Yellow greeted me warmly, answered all five questions and signed off. Just like that. I don't wholly agree with the answers and he didn't show all of his working out but he played the game and let me know where he stands. Brief, polite, sensible. There was a link to a wikipedia page about something, but like Mr Blues party policy and Mr Greens office, anything beyond the scope of the email is outside of the rules of the game.

Which concludes play.

I'm assigning Mr Red fourth place, because he failed to respond which is only slighty worse than Mr Blue. Mr Green is awarded second place, because he was either willing to take time out for a face-to-face talk or had the balls to bluff. However there is no prize for second place and Mr Yellow is the clear winner.

Democracy

As a serial abstainer, this general election I decided to properly vote. Unfortunately, it takes hours to read news stories, research candidates and form a balanced and worthwhile political opinion. You have to understand the views of the local candidates then the national policies and the effects and implications of those polices in the years to come. Its a lot to take in. Voting might even be a full time job if you were going to do it right. Anything less is just picking at random.

Thankfully, I'm smart enough to outsource all that hard work - I'm going to find somebody else who has come to an informed, credible political opinion and vote for whoever they are voting for. How do I find such a person who I can absolutely guarantee has made the best informed, educated decision...? Easy, through an electronic bay auction of course!

While I'm sure its not legal to sell ones electoral vote on an electronic bay auction website, it turns out one is able to make it clear that one is a member of a fickle electorate who will form an opinion based on a single recommendation. And it is possible to sell, to the highest bidder, a certificate that one has listened to that one single recommendation. In terms of electronic bay auctions. I'd be willing to accept somebodies political opinion as the postal fee for mailing the certificate.

Below is the transcript from a conversation with one of the wonderful customer service representatives from an electronic bay auction website. Names have been blanked out to protect the innocent, or possibly guilty. I even blanked out my name, for some reason.

r**** ******t

Initial Question/Comment: UK CW LP- PI

16:11:58 System

m**** ******n has joined this session!

16:11:58 System

Connected with m**** ******n

16:12:03 m**** ******n

Welcome to eBay Live Help, my name is M***y. Please give me a minute while I check your account details.

16:12:10 r**** ******t

ok

16:13:38 m**** ******n

R***r, thanks for waiting. I've checked your account details and they are all fine.

16:13:42 r**** ******t

ok great.

16:13:45 m**** ******n

May I know your concern, please?

16:13:47 r**** ******t

Can I sell my vote for the '10 general election on ebay?

16:15:01 m**** ******n

You can not sell a vote or a opinion through a eBay listing.

16:15:14 r**** ******t

Its legal for me to determine my vote based on a conversation with somebody. What I'll actually be selling is the right to have that conversation with me.

16:15:22 r**** ******t

It'll still legally be my vote.

16:15:33 r**** ******t

Like selling first refusal on a House or Car.

16:16:41 r**** ******t

I didn't see vote/opinion on the list of prohibited or restricted items in your T&C.

16:16:43 m**** ******n

Any listing which does not have a item or service for sale on it is a breach of our No Item Policy.

16:16:59 r**** ******t

The service is the conversation with me about my vote.

16:17:13 r**** ******t

I'll provide the service of attending the polling station.

16:19:53 m**** ******n

R***r, I completely understand that you want to list this item, however, as per the policy, we will not able to leave the item on site as it will be in breach of No Item policy.

16:20:09 r**** ******t

But I could list a service, couldnt I?

16:20:48 m**** ******n

We don't want to encourage the members to list an item which falls under the breach of any of the eBay's policies.

16:21:07 r**** ******t

If I provided a certificate, would that constitute as an Item?

16:21:13 m**** ******n

R***r, just to clarify it before taking further, do you want to list your votes or are you trying to sell the voting service on eBay?

16:21:33 r**** ******t

I am attempting to sell just my vote.

16:21:37 r**** ******t

Singular.

16:22:29 m**** ******n

Thanks for clarifying this. But this will fall in breach of our 'No Item' policy.

16:22:39 r**** ******t

Even if I supply a certificate?

16:22:51 r**** ******t

wouldn't that count as the item?

16:22:51 m**** ******n

What kind of certificate would it be?

16:23:15 r**** ******t

It would say that my vote has been cast, to whom and be dated and signed.

16:23:21 r**** ******t

I could even laminate it.

16:23:38 m**** ******n

And I would also like to know what kind of 'vote' are you trying to sell on eBay? Can you please provide me some more information on this?

16:23:57 r**** ******t

It would be my vote for the '10 General Election, as I stated earlier.

16:24:53 m**** ******n

I'm sorry R***r but selling of government votes or related items are not possible on eBay. This falls under the breach of our Prohibited Items policy.

16:26:08 m**** ******n

This policy helps protect buyers and sellers from engaging in illegal activity.

16:26:22 m**** ******n

eBay urges its sellers and buyers to comply with all governmental laws and regulations.

16:26:31 r**** ******t

I appreciate that, but it is legal for me to cast my vote based on a conversation with somebody.

16:26:47 r**** ******t

Thats how canvassing works, generally.

16:26:58 r**** ******t

I just want to sell that experience.

16:27:53 m**** ******n

That's absolutely fine R***r. But the selling of votes is not possible on eBay. We don't want online forum to be used for activities which can encourage other eBay's to breach government policies and procedures.

16:28:16 m**** ******n

*eBayers to breach government policies and procedures

16:28:23 m**** ******n

Since encouraging illegal activity may be prohibited by law, sellers may not use eBay to encourage other members to engage in illegal activity.

16:29:26 m**** ******n

In most of the countries, "Selling your vote in all levels of Government Elections is, for the vast majority of countries, an illegal act."

16:30:10 r**** ******t

Its already legal under UK law for me to listen to opinions of others before casting my vote.

16:30:35 r**** ******t

If I sell that conversation with somebody, and provide a certificate, then its allowed on ebay?

16:31:28 m**** ******n

R***r, I understand that it's completely voluntary for an individual to cast a vote, or to have opinion of other before casting your vote. The point I'm trying to make is that it's not permissible to sell it on eBay.

16:31:48 m**** ******n

We don't want to encourage you to list an item which will be removed again because of our policies.

16:32:00 m**** ******n

eBay has prohibited the service of selling your vote on it's sites.

16:32:31 r**** ******t

Thats fair.

16:32:36 r**** ******t

But I could sell a certificate saying who I'm going to vote for?

16:33:18 m**** ******n

As per laws, you cannot disclose whom you are going to vote. Hence, this is again in breach of government rules and policies.

16:33:32 r**** ******t

Ah. thats true.

16:33:56 m**** ******n

Is there anything else I can assist you with R***r?

16:34:02 r**** ******t

So it would have to say who I voted for, so I'd have to write the certificate after the election?

16:35:49 m**** ******n

I'd put it other way. Do not mention who you voted for. Instead, just mention your preference in the certificate.

16:36:22 m**** ******n

Because I think clearly mentioning the name of the elective person would probably breach our policies again.

16:36:32 r**** ******t

I think you can say after the fact, thats how exit polls work. But its a good idea to describe it as my preference.

16:36:45 m**** ******n

Exactly

16:37:03 m**** ******n

Do you have any more concerns, R***r?

16:37:42 r**** ******t

I'll be the first item I've put on ebay, but I'm sure I can get my other concerns answered offline and by faqs. Thankyou for your help.

16:38:05 r**** ******t

oh one more.

16:38:09 m**** ******n

Thanks for your understanding R***r.

16:38:12 r**** ******t

is this conversation confidential?

16:38:53 m**** ******n

R***r, this is completely confidential. Rest assured that it will not be shared anywhere.

16:39:07 r**** ******t

Thankyou. I have no further concerns.

16:39:39 m**** ******n

Once we end this session, you'll have the option to fill out a survey. I'd appreciate it if you could take a few moments to let us know what you think about your experience today.

16:39:54 m**** ******n

Thank you for contacting eBay UK Live Help. Have a great day.

16:40:00 r**** ******t

thankyou

Bongos

Out of the technology reviews I've got queued up, the Roland V-Drums series has forced itself to the top of the list. The TD4 comes with four mesh-head pads, two cymbal triggers a nice Kick drum and highhat with pedal.

Trying to avoid the Acoustic-vs-Electronic debate, like with any instrument feel is very important. A further factor of electronic kits is that feel is divorced from sound so you become able to change one without changing the other. On that note the modular triggers use 1/4 inch jacks to connect to the 'brain' of the beast, which could be replaced and does have a midi out making the sounds it provides less important that the feel of the triggers.

The mesh pads, so specifically the snare, are the strength of the kit. The supplied TD4 allows you to adjust material, tuning and muffling on a variety of snare instruments and the pad contains separate skin and rim sensors to provide a bit more versatility.

But the snare is absolutely key to the sound of a kit and the small pad size is a little annoying so I can see the snare being an early upgrade for the serious musician.

The HiHat assembly consisting of cymbal-style trigger and pedal deserves a good mention here too. Initial impressions of it are great although it loses its appeal quite quickly as its falls short of an acoustic Hi Hat for responsiveness. The pedal takes account of open, closed and half positions as well as opening/closing and stamping however this all amounts to the minimum you need from a kit in order to play and the rubber coated trigger provides a fraction of restitution you want - but again that's a comparison to an acoustic kit which I'm trying to avoid.

Lastly - for a reason - come the cymbal triggers. While my minimum spec included "dual-trigger and choke" for both cymbals, it still isn't enough and it doesn't take long to want bell/bow/edge and a number of other missing features. Like the HiHat, lack of restitution caused by the rubber coating make the ride cymbal awkward and its an obvious candidate for just taking off and replacing with the real McCoy. The swinging motion of the triggers really helps with the feel, but you are never going to get enthusiastic about them.

The TD4 'brain' itself allows for tuning, muffling and for setting up 25 named kit configurations which gives you plenty of room to experiment, and to quickly and easily switch to a different sound between songs. The Midi-out is a must-have for the more serious player, and for recording and composing. In fact, just having a pair of quarter-inch jack outputs is great for recording compared to attempting to mic and balance.

The metronome and tutor facility show this kit up for exactly what it is - Its a Christmas present kit - everything isn't quite good enough but if you weren't a seasoned player you wouldn't notice. The small triggers and easy wingnuts make the kit very easy to adjust for comfortable play, and the compact frame is easy to move about and will take a number of upgrades, replacements and acoustic additions without problems.

Despite all its flaws, Roland have done an excellent job of making an affordable electronic kit that is fun to play. Nothing feels cheap, its sturdy and feels like it can take a beating. Its lightweight, easy to store and robust and the whole is defiantly greater than the sum of its parts. I'm looking forward to jamming and gigging with it.

First taste of the Blue Mountain.

I've decided to turn my sceptic eye toward the Blue Mountain of Jamaica. Costing significantly more than the beans I've been buying, this coffee has a reputation for consistency of quality so this is my chance to taste the difference.

My first hit of the Blue Mountain was an aeropress Quad espresso, diluted with about an extra 50% water after making. This super-Americano puts any bean to its test and should provide a real blast to the senses and give me an idea of the strengths and weaknesses to explore.

Despite the strength of the preparation the aroma is a little dry and doesn't immediately draw you in, however the pre-taste and initial wash fills the mouth warmly with a low fruity tone and a higher flavoursome buzz.

The mild flavour stands up well and even at the stronger strength, and despite two grinds making their way into my cup its after-taste vanishes quickly bringing it to your lips again and again.

The Blue Mountain is very self contained, and it was drunk unadulterated. I enjoyed some sweet shortbread a little while after drinking, and while the sweet contrast worked well I can see a nutty almond or hazelnut accompaniment working well. I'm sure a traditional biscotti would be a great addition.

The Blue Mountain is a large, low density bean that grinds finely and evenly. The colour was pale which is reflected in the mild even taste and I'm looking forward to trying different preparations that will bring out its fruity tones.

Bean Counter

While I've committed to making this a short update, its one on a recurring theme that I'm going to return to, and one I hope you recognise.

I'm not normally a fan of Peruvian coffee, and in fact have rarely been satisfied with that continent at all I'd like to make an honourable mention of the Peruvian Amazonas Altura. Its quite dark and the strength comes from its broad flavour that doesn't overpower the senses.

I've been making the Altura in an Aeropress, and tried single-shot Americano, double ristretto and double and triple espresso preparations. Out of this, I'd say the flavour doesn't come across well at either ends of the spectrum and a strong Americano really compliments its slightly earthy tones. As an espresso its quite drinkable but lingers on the palette just a little too long and I found the ristretto lost the character of the drink.

Both the espresso and ristretto work well accompanied with chocolate, but nothing above around 70% cocoa as a dark or bitter chocolate pulls Altura outside of its comfort zone. In contrast orange and almond or orange and spice chocolates compliment it well and the extra sweetness makes it a more exciting drink.

The Altura grinds a little coarsly so it took a few attempts to get the grind right, and I'd recommend starting a little finer than you might expect. Because of this, I wouldn't recommend the Altura for a Cafetiere and although I can't imagine a moka pot doing it a huge amount of justice. Filter or drip coffee at a medium strength will best bring out the flavours of this little Peruvian.